Tim tams, caffeine with a side of girly screams
by Jaya
Summary: Coffee. That lifegiving substance has been stolen. But who stole it? And lots of girly screaming is going on. And when the Coffee belongs to Draco Malfoy, someone is going to pay.


Title: Tim tams, caffeine with a side of girly screams.(1/1)  
Author and vB Username: Jaya  
Distribution: ask and I will let you...maybe  
Rating: PG-13  
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.  
Feedback: is the foundation of my universe.  
At: jacey111@yahoo.com   
Summary: Coffee. That lifegiving substance has been stolen. But who stole it? And lots of girly screaming is going on. And when the Coffee belongs to Draco Malfoy, someone is going to pay.  
Archived at: FF.net, Riddikulus; Fiction alley  
Note: This is a standalone fic. As with all standalones I write, if there is a favourable response, and ideas, it may be turned into a series, but at this point it is unlikely.  
Started/Finished: 10th August 2002/10th August 2002.  
Dedication: To me. I felt like it.  
Thanks: To Maya from whoms story this was practically inspired.  


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Tim tams, caffeine with a side of girly screams.  
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It was horrible, horrible! These were the things that nightmares were made of. Turn back all ye who pass here. Such a travesty of amazing proportions was occurring, and as far as he has concerned, something had to be done to stop this unbelievable madness. 

The Tim Tam pack was _empty_. 

Also, the Mochachino cup was empty. And his other mochachino cup... was missing! Eyes narrowing, he stood in the shadows of his dorm room, and raised a hand to the roof. 

He knew who had taken it, even after he had told them not to. Why did they never listen? Did they take some kind of sadistic pleasure out of removing his sweet caffeine from his grasp? 

This was the last straw! 

The boy stomped down the hallways of the school, mind firmly set on his destination. The Great Hall. 

That blasted hall was where the caffeine thief was, and by Slytherin they were going to pay! 

Pay for a long time! Until they were sorry! No, MORE than sorry! This was just a cruel thing to do to him. 

Coffee! His mind demanded. Coooooffffeeeeee! It was an important part of his morning. And his afternoon. And his tea. And a lot of other times of day situated in between. All he needed was coffee! Breakfast could wait, other types of sustenance could wait. However he wanted that caffeinated beverage, and he wanted it _now_! 

No one could come between him and his coffee! He would not, could not allow it! 

EVERYONE knew that his caffeine was sacred. Also was his chocolate. His mochachino doubly so, as it was chocolate AND caffeine. He made a point of informing everyone who saw him before he could get his coffee in the mornings. And it was scary, looking like something that had risen from the dead on an evil search for... coffee. 

Everyone knew what happened to people who were stupid enough to even attempt to steal his property. 

After finding Colin Creevy hanging upside down from a flagpole of a high battlement after he stole a single chocolate frog, most people were unwilling to do anything of the like themselves. Most people didn't appreciate being hung upside down from a high place. Of course, you could never tell with some people. Bizarre masochistic sorts. 

Of course, he was not going to tolerate this. His steps brought him ever closer to the hall, blond hair moving slightly in the breeze stirred up by his passing. 

Footsteps quickening as his goal was realised. Faster, faster! 

Caffeine, beautiful sweet caffeine would soon be his! 

He walked through the entrance, carefully scanned the hall, then... 

There! 

Hermione unconcernedly took another sip from her cup, and Draco began to stalk over to the almost empty Gryffindor table. 

Neville squeaked, and gasped. "Hermione!" His voice was higher than usual due to nervousness. "Why is Muh-muh-Malfoy stalking over here looking like THAT??!" His voice abruptly hiked into a shrill almost scream as he pointed towards the advancing, murderous looking Slytherin. 

The Gryffindor girl looked up, a pleasant smile on her face. "Draco," she said innocently. "How lovely to see you. What brings you to my side of the hall this morning?" Her eyes were bright, with the vivacity of someone who had consumed much of the life giving substance. 

Coooffeeee. 

Draco gave her an evil glare that sent Neville scurrying for cover, relocating over to the Hufflepuff table, ranting about doom and evil looks. 

"I," he began icily, "am here because my coffee is missing." 

Hermione raised an eyebrow. "Oh?" She asked, eyes wide with feigned amazement. "Whoever could have done such a thing?" 

"And also my Tim Tams are missing." Draco continued. "And," some of his rage drained away, and a mischeivous look replaced the anger in his eyes "if I'm not mistaken, that is MY mochachino you have in your hand." 

The girl looked mock-blankly at the cup, which was green, and had a snake around the rim. "Oh," she replied, "I do believe you are right. However did it get here?" 

"I don't know, Granger." He snarled softly, some of that caffeine lust coming back into his veins, heightened by the close proximity of many types of coffee surrounding the witch in front of him. "I just woke up this morning, and my mochachino, and Tim tams were missing." 

Hermione looked horrified. "And you think I took them?" She asked offended. "Draco Malfoy! I have never been so insulted in my life!" 

Draco was unruffled. "But you did take them." He said flatly. 

"Well yes," she admitted "but still! I have never..." 

He caught her mouth with his, and she did not push him away. 

There was a loud girlish scream somewhere across the hall, but neither Hermione or Draco paid it any attention. After all, there were other types of morning rituals. 

Harry and Ron walked into the hall, and there were two more identical girlish screams. Afterwards they were terribly embarrassed. 

Neither they, nor Neville spoke to Hermione for weeks. 

But Hermione did not care. 

She had his chocolate. 

She also had his coffee. 

But most importantly, she had Draco. 

Life was good. 

Fini. 

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I rather like this. Funfun. 


End file.
